Why My Mom Doesn't Feel Like My Mom? Understanding And Coping

It's a deeply unsettling and painful experience when your mom doesn't feel like your mom. This feeling can stem from various underlying issues, creating a disconnect that leaves you feeling lost, confused, and emotionally adrift. You might find yourself questioning the relationship, the past, and even your own perceptions. This article delves into the complex reasons behind this feeling, explores the emotional impact it has, and offers guidance on how to navigate this challenging situation.

Understanding the Disconnect: Why Your Mom Might Not Feel Like Your Mom

Reasons can vary greatly when you feel like your mom doesn't feel like your mom, and often it's a combination of factors that contribute to this sense of disconnect. It's crucial to understand that this feeling isn't necessarily a reflection of your worth or a judgment on your relationship, but rather a symptom of underlying issues that need to be addressed. Some common reasons include:

1. Changes in Personality or Behavior

One of the primary reasons for feeling this disconnect is significant shifts in your mother's personality or behavior. These changes can be gradual or sudden, and they can stem from a variety of sources. For instance, aging can bring about changes in cognitive function, emotional regulation, and overall demeanor. Conditions like dementia or Alzheimer's disease can drastically alter a person's personality, making them seem like a different person altogether. A mother who was once warm and affectionate might become distant, irritable, or even aggressive. These changes can be incredibly disorienting and heartbreaking, leaving you feeling like you've lost the person you knew and loved. Mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety, can also manifest in altered behavior patterns. A mother struggling with depression might withdraw from family interactions, exhibit a lack of interest in activities she once enjoyed, or display persistent sadness and hopelessness. These symptoms can create a barrier between you and your mother, making it difficult to connect on an emotional level. Substance abuse is another potential cause of personality changes. If your mother is struggling with addiction, her behavior might become unpredictable, erratic, or even hostile. The effects of drugs or alcohol can significantly impair judgment, emotional stability, and overall functioning, leading to a stark contrast from her usual self. Traumatic experiences can also trigger significant shifts in personality. If your mother has experienced a recent trauma, such as the loss of a loved one, a serious accident, or a violent crime, she might exhibit symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). These symptoms can include flashbacks, nightmares, emotional numbness, and hyperarousal, all of which can impact her ability to connect with others. In some cases, physical illnesses can indirectly contribute to personality changes. Chronic pain, for example, can lead to irritability, fatigue, and a decreased ability to engage in social activities. Hormonal imbalances, such as those associated with menopause, can also cause mood swings, anxiety, and other emotional changes. It's important to remember that these changes are often beyond your mother's control. Understanding the underlying cause can help you approach the situation with empathy and compassion, even when it's difficult. Seeking professional help for your mother is crucial in these situations, as treatment can often improve her symptoms and restore some sense of normalcy to your relationship.

2. Unresolved Trauma or Past Issues

Unresolved trauma and past issues often cast long shadows, influencing present-day relationships and emotional well-being. If your mother has experienced significant trauma in her life, such as childhood abuse, neglect, or domestic violence, these experiences can profoundly shape her personality, behavior, and parenting style. Trauma can create deep-seated emotional wounds that may never fully heal, and these wounds can impact her ability to form secure and healthy attachments. She might struggle with trust, intimacy, and emotional vulnerability, making it difficult for her to connect with you on a deeper level. Past issues, even if they don't rise to the level of trauma, can also create significant barriers in your relationship. For example, if your mother experienced a difficult childhood, she might carry those emotional scars into adulthood, impacting her parenting and her relationships with her children. She might have learned unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as emotional avoidance or suppression, which can hinder her ability to express her emotions and needs in a healthy way. Family dynamics also play a crucial role in shaping emotional well-being. If your mother grew up in a dysfunctional family environment, she might have internalized unhealthy patterns of communication and interaction. She might struggle with setting boundaries, expressing her needs assertively, or resolving conflicts constructively. These patterns can create tension and conflict in your relationship, making it difficult to feel close and connected. Generational trauma is another important consideration. Trauma can be passed down through generations, impacting family relationships and dynamics. If your mother's parents or grandparents experienced trauma, she might have inherited emotional patterns and beliefs that contribute to her current struggles. Understanding the impact of unresolved trauma and past issues is crucial for developing empathy and compassion for your mother. It can help you see her behavior in a new light, recognizing that her actions are often driven by her past experiences. However, it's also important to remember that you are not responsible for fixing her past. Setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing your own emotional well-being are essential. Encouraging your mother to seek professional help is one of the most supportive things you can do. Therapy can provide her with a safe space to process her past experiences, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and improve her relationships. Additionally, therapy can help you understand her struggles and develop strategies for navigating your relationship in a healthy and constructive way.

3. Mental Health Challenges

Mental health challenges can significantly alter a person's behavior and emotional availability, making it feel as though your mother isn't quite the same person you once knew. Conditions like depression, anxiety, and personality disorders can create emotional barriers that hinder connection and intimacy. Depression, for example, can manifest as persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities, fatigue, and difficulty concentrating. A mother struggling with depression might withdraw from family interactions, neglect her responsibilities, or express feelings of hopelessness. These symptoms can make it difficult for her to engage in meaningful conversations or provide emotional support. Anxiety disorders can also significantly impact a mother's behavior and emotional state. Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder, and social anxiety disorder can lead to excessive worry, fear, and avoidance behaviors. A mother with anxiety might be overly critical, controlling, or fearful, which can create tension and conflict in the relationship. Personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder (BPD) or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), can present unique challenges in family relationships. BPD is characterized by emotional instability, impulsivity, and difficulty with interpersonal relationships. A mother with BPD might exhibit intense mood swings, anger outbursts, and a fear of abandonment, which can create chaos and instability in the family dynamic. NPD is characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. A mother with NPD might be self-centered, manipulative, and dismissive of your feelings, making it difficult to feel seen and valued. Substance abuse often co-occurs with mental health disorders, further complicating the situation. If your mother is struggling with addiction, her behavior might become unpredictable, erratic, and even dangerous. The effects of drugs or alcohol can exacerbate mental health symptoms and impair her ability to function effectively. Recognizing the signs of mental health challenges is the first step toward getting help. If you suspect that your mother is struggling with a mental health disorder, encouraging her to seek professional evaluation and treatment is crucial. Therapy, medication, and other interventions can help manage symptoms and improve her overall well-being. It's also important to remember that you cannot force your mother to get help. Setting boundaries and prioritizing your own emotional health are essential. Support groups and individual therapy can provide you with the tools and resources you need to navigate this challenging situation. Understanding the impact of mental health challenges on family relationships is crucial for fostering empathy and compassion. However, it's equally important to recognize your own limitations and seek support when needed.

4. Role Reversal or Changing Dynamics

Role reversal or changing family dynamics can significantly alter the parent-child relationship, leading to a sense that your mother doesn't feel like the same person. As parents age, they may require more care and support from their children, gradually shifting the traditional parent-child dynamic. This transition can be challenging for both parties, as it requires adjusting to new roles and responsibilities. When a mother becomes increasingly dependent on her children for practical assistance, emotional support, or financial aid, the dynamic can shift from a nurturing parent-child relationship to a caregiver-care recipient dynamic. This role reversal can be difficult to navigate, as it may involve making decisions about your mother's living situation, medical care, and financial affairs. These decisions can be emotionally taxing, especially if there are disagreements among family members or if your mother resists assistance. The emotional impact of role reversal can be significant. You might feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for your mother, and you might experience feelings of guilt, resentment, or exhaustion. Your mother, in turn, might feel a loss of independence, dignity, and control over her life. She might resist help or become angry and frustrated with her situation. In some cases, role reversal can lead to a blurring of boundaries, where you feel more like a parent to your mother than a child. This can create confusion and strain in the relationship, making it difficult to maintain a healthy balance. Changing family dynamics can also be influenced by other factors, such as marital issues, sibling relationships, and financial stressors. If your parents are experiencing marital conflict, it can impact your relationship with your mother and create emotional distance. Sibling dynamics can also play a role, particularly if there are disagreements about caregiving responsibilities or financial matters. Financial stressors can exacerbate existing tensions and create new challenges within the family. Navigating role reversal and changing family dynamics requires open communication, empathy, and a willingness to adapt. It's important to have honest conversations with your mother about her needs and preferences, and to involve her in decision-making as much as possible. Setting boundaries is also crucial for maintaining your own well-being. You cannot pour from an empty cup, so it's essential to prioritize self-care and seek support when needed. Family therapy can be a valuable resource for addressing these challenges. A therapist can help facilitate communication, resolve conflicts, and develop strategies for managing the emotional impact of role reversal and changing family dynamics. Remember that it's okay to seek help, and that you don't have to go through this alone.

5. Differing Values or Life Choices

Differing values or life choices can create a significant divide between you and your mother, leading to a sense of emotional distance and disconnect. As individuals, we develop our own unique set of values, beliefs, and perspectives on life, and these can sometimes clash with those of our parents. When there are fundamental disagreements about important issues, such as politics, religion, lifestyle choices, or parenting styles, it can be challenging to maintain a close and harmonious relationship. If your mother holds strong beliefs that are significantly different from your own, it can lead to frequent arguments, misunderstandings, and a feeling that you are not truly understood or accepted. For example, if you have different political views, conversations about current events might quickly escalate into heated debates. If you have chosen a career path that your mother disapproves of, she might express her disappointment or try to steer you in a different direction. Lifestyle choices, such as your relationship status, living situation, or personal habits, can also be sources of conflict. If your mother disapproves of your partner, your decision to live together before marriage, or your dietary choices, it can create tension and strain in the relationship. Parenting styles are another common area of disagreement between mothers and daughters. If you have different approaches to raising your children, your mother might offer unsolicited advice, criticize your decisions, or even undermine your authority. These conflicts can be particularly hurtful, as they strike at the core of your identity as a parent. It's important to recognize that differing values and life choices are a normal part of family relationships. People are entitled to their own beliefs and opinions, and it's not always possible or desirable to change someone's mind. However, it's also important to find ways to navigate these differences in a respectful and constructive manner. Open communication is key. Try to have honest conversations with your mother about your values and perspectives, and listen to hers with an open mind. Avoid judgmental language and focus on understanding each other's viewpoints. Setting boundaries is also essential. You have the right to make your own choices, even if your mother doesn't agree with them. It's okay to politely decline to discuss certain topics or to limit contact if the conflict becomes too overwhelming. Focusing on shared interests and values can help bridge the gap. Identify areas where you and your mother have common ground, and try to spend time together engaging in activities that you both enjoy. This can help strengthen your bond and create positive memories. If you are struggling to navigate these differences on your own, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can provide guidance and support in improving communication and setting healthy boundaries. Remember that it's possible to maintain a loving relationship with your mother, even if you don't agree on everything.

The Emotional Impact: How It Feels When Your Mom Doesn’t Feel Like Your Mom

The emotional toll of feeling that your mom doesn’t feel like your mom is significant and can affect various aspects of your life. It's a unique kind of grief, as you're not necessarily mourning a physical loss, but rather the loss of the emotional connection and relationship you once had. This disconnect can trigger a range of emotions, from confusion and sadness to anger and resentment. Understanding these emotions is the first step towards coping with this challenging situation.

1. Confusion and Disorientation

Confusion and disorientation are common initial reactions when you feel that your mother is not the person you once knew. This feeling can arise from sudden or gradual changes in her behavior, personality, or emotional availability. You might struggle to understand why she is acting differently, and you might find yourself questioning your own perceptions and memories. When a mother who was once warm and affectionate becomes distant or critical, it can be incredibly disorienting. You might wonder what you did to cause this change, or if you are misinterpreting her actions. This confusion can lead to self-doubt and anxiety, as you struggle to make sense of the situation. Changes in a mother's cognitive abilities can also contribute to confusion. If she is experiencing memory loss, confusion, or difficulty with communication, it can be challenging to interact with her in the same way as before. You might find yourself repeating things, correcting her misstatements, or struggling to follow her train of thought. This can be frustrating and emotionally draining. Unresolved trauma or past issues can also create confusion in the relationship. If your mother has experienced significant trauma in her life, she might exhibit behaviors that seem unpredictable or irrational. You might not understand the underlying reasons for her actions, which can lead to confusion and frustration. Mental health challenges can further complicate the situation. If your mother is struggling with depression, anxiety, or a personality disorder, her behavior might be difficult to understand. You might feel like you are walking on eggshells, unsure of what will trigger a negative reaction. Role reversal can also contribute to feelings of confusion and disorientation. When you take on a caregiving role for your mother, it can blur the traditional parent-child dynamic. You might feel unsure of your role and responsibilities, and you might struggle to maintain a healthy balance in the relationship. Navigating these feelings of confusion and disorientation requires self-compassion and patience. It's important to acknowledge that you are in a difficult situation, and that it's okay to feel uncertain and overwhelmed. Seeking support from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist can provide you with a safe space to process your emotions and develop coping strategies. Learning about the underlying causes of your mother's behavior can also help you make sense of the situation. Researching her condition, talking to professionals, and joining support groups can provide you with valuable information and insights. Remember that you are not alone in this, and that there are resources available to help you navigate this challenging time. Focusing on what you can control is also important. You cannot change your mother's behavior, but you can control your own reactions and responses. Setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and seeking support can help you maintain your emotional well-being.

2. Grief and Loss

Grief and loss are profound emotions that can surface when your mother doesn't feel like herself, even if she is still physically present. This type of grief is often referred to as ambiguous loss, as it involves mourning the loss of the relationship, the emotional connection, and the person you once knew, without a physical death. It's a unique and challenging form of grief, as it can be difficult for others to understand the depth of your pain. When your mother's personality changes due to illness, aging, or mental health challenges, it can feel like you are losing her piece by piece. The woman who nurtured you, offered guidance, and shared your life's milestones may no longer be capable of these things. This loss can be incredibly painful, leaving you feeling a sense of emptiness and longing. The grief can be compounded by the fact that your mother is still physically present. This can create a complex emotional landscape, as you might feel guilty for grieving someone who is still alive. You might also struggle to reconcile your love for your mother with the pain and frustration you feel about her changed behavior. Unresolved trauma or past issues can also intensify the grief process. If you have a history of difficult experiences with your mother, her current state might trigger old wounds and unresolved emotions. You might grieve not only the loss of the present relationship, but also the loss of the relationship you always wished you had. Role reversal can further complicate the grieving process. When you take on a caregiving role for your mother, it can feel like you are losing the parent-child dynamic and gaining a different kind of relationship. This shift can be challenging to accept, and it can trigger feelings of grief and loss. Navigating these feelings of grief and loss requires self-compassion and understanding. It's important to acknowledge your pain and allow yourself to grieve. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and your feelings are valid. Seeking support from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist can provide you with a safe space to process your emotions. Talking about your grief can help you feel less alone and more understood. Journaling, creative expression, and mindfulness practices can also be helpful ways to cope with grief. It's important to be patient with yourself and allow the grieving process to unfold at its own pace. There will be good days and bad days, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed at times. Focusing on self-care is essential during this time. Make sure you are getting enough rest, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. Setting boundaries and prioritizing your own emotional well-being can also help you manage the grief process. Remember that you are not alone in this, and that there are resources available to help you navigate your grief.

3. Anger and Resentment

Anger and resentment are common emotional responses when dealing with a mother who feels different, especially if her behavior has become hurtful or challenging. These feelings can stem from a variety of sources, including frustration with her actions, disappointment in her lack of emotional support, or a sense of unfairness about the situation. It's important to acknowledge that these feelings are normal and valid, even though they might feel uncomfortable or even shameful. When your mother's personality changes due to illness, aging, or mental health challenges, it can be frustrating to cope with her changed behavior. You might feel angry at her for the things she says or does, even though you know she might not be in control of her actions. You might also resent the fact that you have to take on additional responsibilities or make sacrifices in your own life to care for her. A lack of emotional support from your mother can also trigger anger and resentment. If she is unable to provide the love, understanding, or guidance that you need, you might feel hurt and abandoned. You might resent the fact that you have to rely on others for emotional support, or that you don't have the kind of relationship with your mother that you always wanted. Unresolved trauma or past issues can contribute to anger and resentment. If you have a history of difficult experiences with your mother, her current behavior might trigger old wounds and unresolved emotions. You might feel angry at her for the ways she has hurt you in the past, and you might resent the fact that you have to deal with these issues in addition to her current challenges. Role reversal can further complicate these feelings. When you take on a caregiving role for your mother, you might feel angry and resentful about the loss of your independence and the burden of responsibility. You might also resent the fact that you have to put your own needs and desires on hold to care for her. Navigating these feelings of anger and resentment requires self-awareness and healthy coping strategies. It's important to acknowledge your feelings without judgment and to understand the underlying reasons for your anger. Talking to a therapist or counselor can provide you with a safe space to explore your emotions and develop healthier ways of managing them. Setting boundaries is also crucial for managing anger and resentment. It's okay to limit your contact with your mother if her behavior is hurtful or overwhelming. It's also okay to say no to requests that you are not comfortable with. Taking care of your own needs and prioritizing your own well-being is essential for maintaining your emotional health. Finding healthy ways to express your anger can also be helpful. Exercise, creative expression, and spending time in nature can help you release pent-up emotions. It's important to avoid expressing your anger in ways that are harmful to yourself or others, such as yelling, name-calling, or physical violence. Remember that anger and resentment are normal emotions, and that you are not alone in feeling this way. Seeking support and developing healthy coping strategies can help you manage these feelings and maintain your emotional well-being.

4. Guilt and Self-Blame

Guilt and self-blame are often intertwined emotions that can surface when you feel disconnected from your mother, especially if you are struggling to meet her needs or navigate challenging behaviors. These feelings can stem from a variety of sources, including a sense of responsibility for her well-being, unrealistic expectations of yourself, or unresolved conflicts in the relationship. It's important to recognize that guilt and self-blame can be detrimental to your emotional health, and that it's essential to challenge these negative thought patterns. When your mother's personality changes due to illness, aging, or mental health challenges, you might feel guilty for not being able to fix the situation or make her happy. You might blame yourself for not doing enough, even if you are already doing everything you can. This sense of responsibility can be overwhelming, and it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Unrealistic expectations of yourself can also contribute to guilt and self-blame. You might believe that you should be able to handle everything on your own, or that you should be able to provide all the care and support that your mother needs. These expectations are often unrealistic, and they can set you up for feelings of failure and guilt. Unresolved conflicts in the relationship can intensify these feelings. If you have a history of disagreements or strained interactions with your mother, you might feel guilty for not having a better relationship. You might blame yourself for past mistakes or for not being able to resolve conflicts effectively. Role reversal can further complicate these emotions. When you take on a caregiving role for your mother, you might feel guilty for not enjoying the role or for feeling resentful about the responsibilities. You might also feel guilty for not being able to provide the same level of care that she provided for you. Navigating these feelings of guilt and self-blame requires self-compassion and realistic self-assessment. It's important to acknowledge your feelings without judgment and to challenge negative thought patterns. Ask yourself if your expectations are realistic, and if you are holding yourself to an unfair standard. Talking to a therapist or counselor can provide you with a safe space to explore these emotions and develop healthier ways of thinking about yourself and your relationship with your mother. Setting boundaries is also crucial for managing guilt and self-blame. It's okay to say no to requests that you are not comfortable with, and it's okay to prioritize your own needs and well-being. Remember that you are not responsible for your mother's happiness, and that you cannot control her behavior. Focusing on what you can control, such as your own actions and responses, can help you reduce feelings of guilt and self-blame. Practicing self-care is essential for maintaining your emotional health. Make sure you are getting enough rest, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. Remember that you deserve to be happy and healthy, even if your mother is struggling.

5. Loneliness and Isolation

Loneliness and isolation are common emotional experiences when your mother doesn't feel like herself, particularly if she was a primary source of emotional support and companionship. This feeling can be exacerbated if you are also navigating caregiving responsibilities or if you feel that others don't understand the complexities of your situation. It's important to recognize these feelings and actively seek connection and support to mitigate their impact. When your mother's personality changes due to illness, aging, or mental health challenges, you might feel a profound sense of loss and loneliness. The person you once confided in, shared your joys and sorrows with, and relied on for emotional support might no longer be available in the same way. This loss can create a void in your life, leaving you feeling isolated and alone. Caregiving responsibilities can further contribute to loneliness and isolation. If you are providing care for your mother, you might have less time and energy for social activities and relationships. You might also feel that others don't understand the demands and challenges of caregiving, which can lead to feelings of isolation. If your family or friends don't understand the changes in your mother or the impact on your relationship, you might feel even more alone. They might offer well-meaning but unhelpful advice, or they might minimize the significance of your experience. This lack of understanding can make it difficult to share your feelings and seek support. Unresolved conflicts or strained relationships with other family members can also contribute to loneliness and isolation. If you are navigating disagreements or communication challenges with siblings or other relatives, it can create additional stress and isolation. Seeking support is crucial for combating loneliness and isolation. Talking to a therapist or counselor can provide you with a safe space to explore your emotions and develop coping strategies. Joining a support group for caregivers or individuals dealing with similar challenges can also be helpful. Connecting with others who understand your experience can reduce feelings of isolation and provide you with valuable support and resources. Nurturing existing relationships and building new connections can also help combat loneliness. Make an effort to stay in touch with friends and family members, and consider joining social groups or activities that align with your interests. Volunteering can be a meaningful way to connect with others and contribute to your community. Practicing self-care is essential for maintaining your emotional well-being. Make sure you are getting enough rest, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. Prioritizing your own needs and well-being can help you cope with the challenges of your situation and reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation. Remember that you are not alone in this, and that there are resources available to help you connect with others and find support.

Navigating the Situation: How to Cope and Find Support

Navigating the complexities of a relationship where your mom doesn't feel like your mom requires a multi-faceted approach that prioritizes both your well-being and hers. It's a journey that involves understanding the underlying issues, developing coping strategies, setting boundaries, and seeking support. This section provides guidance on how to navigate this challenging situation in a healthy and constructive way.

1. Seek Professional Evaluation and Support

Seeking professional evaluation and support is a critical step in understanding and navigating the situation when your mother doesn't feel like herself. A professional assessment can help identify the underlying causes of her changed behavior and provide guidance on appropriate treatment options. This can be incredibly valuable in developing a comprehensive plan to address the challenges you are facing. A medical evaluation can help rule out or diagnose any underlying medical conditions that might be contributing to your mother's changed behavior. Conditions such as dementia, Alzheimer's disease, hormonal imbalances, and other physical illnesses can significantly impact personality and emotional well-being. A thorough medical examination can provide clarity on these issues and guide treatment decisions. A mental health evaluation is equally important. Mental health professionals, such as psychologists or psychiatrists, can assess your mother for conditions like depression, anxiety, personality disorders, or other mental health challenges. These conditions can significantly alter behavior and emotional availability, and accurate diagnosis is essential for effective treatment. A therapist can also provide support for you. Dealing with a mother who doesn't feel like herself can be emotionally draining and overwhelming. A therapist can offer a safe space for you to process your emotions, develop coping strategies, and learn how to navigate the challenges of your relationship. Therapy can also help you set healthy boundaries, communicate effectively, and prioritize your own well-being. Family therapy can be a valuable resource in these situations. It can provide a forum for family members to discuss their concerns, improve communication, and develop strategies for supporting each other. Family therapy can be particularly helpful if there are conflicts or misunderstandings within the family. Finding the right professionals can make a significant difference. Talk to your primary care physician for referrals, and research therapists and mental health professionals in your area. Consider seeking recommendations from friends, family members, or support groups. When choosing a professional, it's important to find someone who is experienced in working with families facing similar challenges. Trust your instincts and choose someone who you feel comfortable with and who you believe can provide effective support. Remember that seeking professional help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It's an investment in your well-being and your mother's well-being.

2. Set Healthy Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for protecting your emotional well-being and maintaining a sustainable relationship with your mother, especially when she doesn't feel like herself. Boundaries are the limits you set to protect your physical, emotional, and mental health. They define what you are willing and not willing to do, accept, or tolerate in your interactions with others. When your mother's behavior is challenging, disrespectful, or hurtful, setting clear boundaries is essential for preventing burnout and maintaining a sense of self-respect. Identifying your boundaries is the first step. Think about what behaviors or situations trigger negative emotions in you, such as anger, resentment, guilt, or anxiety. Consider what you need in order to feel safe, respected, and valued in your relationship with your mother. Examples of boundaries might include limiting the amount of time you spend with her, refusing to engage in certain conversations, or setting clear expectations for her behavior when you are together. Communicating your boundaries clearly and assertively is essential. Use